We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
