This is not my ceiling
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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