i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
