After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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