Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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