last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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