i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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