Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
