he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just high enough for therapy.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
