it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
