I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
