I didn't shave. On purpose
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
