Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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