It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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