I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
