My cat gives me a boner
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
