Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
