Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
