don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
