I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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