beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
