I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
