Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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