my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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