So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
