Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(937): View more from Ohio

Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not

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(317): View more from Indiana

she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?

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(348): View more from

Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...

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(917): View more from New York City

Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.

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(425): View more from Washington

How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Pants are for mortals

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(416): View more from Toronto

His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.

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