You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
