He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
