I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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