Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We just shotgunned beers for America
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
