tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
