Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
