Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
