Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
