Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
