we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
