Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
