I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
whose parrot is this?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
