do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
