I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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