How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
