if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
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