new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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