Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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