Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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