you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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