I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It's never too late to be topless.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
