I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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