I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
