I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
All the doctor said was why
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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