Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
