Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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