My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
